RDR Hashcap 2018
It’s been awhile since my last Hashcap and I feel a little rusty. So I’ll try to be as accurate and straightforward as I can. The day as warm, bright and full of about 550 hashers, give or take a few.
Madison hashers weren’t the only dressed-up hashers searching for the trail to beer. We had Quad Cities, Chicago, and Miami half-minds polluting our population. To prelube this horrific debauchery, the morning started with a ranger visit because I forgot the key, the wine stash was stolen, and parts for the beer lines were misplaced. Yet all was remedied so that beer started flowing like the Yahara River, and the hares let the pack lose on the streets. This day the hash would face the challenges of reaching the peak of Mount Everclear and the gutters of Sodom and Gomorrah. Their first beer check was the BB Clarke Beach after some parkour parkour. After that, I don’t really remember. I heard something about hills and too many marks. We joined up with our amazing bartenders at the Shamrock for pitchers of beer near the square then set off for a parade around the capital building. There was a slight delay at the top of State street for a grope shot.
From the capitol, a solid block of wankers in red dresses meandered about for beer with muggles cheering us on. Slowly, the hasher parade thinned out and it’s debatable who actually followed true trail as they galavanted through campus toward the Terrace.
One by one, hashers assembled to fill vessels of beer…. actually the hare was parking the beer mobile while hashers whined about being hot and thirsty. The dresses began swirling in the lake waters like rose petals in a pond. A round of “Days of the Week” was belted out as an upheld tradition. The last thing that remained was getting back to the On-In.
A frolicking line of drunks meandered across James Madison Park to the shelter filled with somewhat phallic food and libations. A raucous ceremony led by Michelle Vick held songs with no measure or appeal to the local picnickers and they soon moved down the beach away from us. A ritual christening of the bearers of new happi coats was performed which they endured until they were thoroughly covered in flour and beer and their titties were sore.
All there was left to do was to play in the lake or bouncy house, both of which are surely full of disease and wretched filth now. A round of bobbing for cocks was won by all who watched. Once the stairs were littered with red dresses and all the beer was gone, the hashers finally went on to pursue open bars or back to their hovels.
For the donations, thank you to all that contributed or helped with organizing. A pool of $420 from the event, hair auction, and Working Draft will be donated to DAIS. A small portion from the event will be combined with individual contributions in total $300 in memory of Nancy Elaine Lerner which is dedicated to the American Parkinson Association.
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