Grand Master:

My Lil’ Porny

Generally organizes all the bad ideas of other hashers. MH3 big cheesies. Sometimes leads ceremonies. Leads with a dynamic strength that permeates the fabric of the organization. Organizes Mismanagement meetings, sends emails, drinks coffee. Both directly, and through other officers, provides inspiration, direction, and vision to all. This position ranks only below all other hashers and offices in real importance to the hash. Delegates work. Does what the Old Farts say. Buys the first pitcher at Mismanagement meetings.

Dishonorable Secretary to the Grand Master: OPEN!

Mostly writes down (or makes up) shit that the Grand Master will forgot. Keeper of the “List of Names”. Keeps meeting minutes at Mismanagement Meetings. Pours first pitcher of beer at Meetings.

Religious Advisors:



Leads Ceremonies. Keeper of the sacred Laws of Hashing, the Religious Advisor comes up with sufficiently plausible lies to cover any serious questions of propriety of actions within the hash. Keeper of the faith. Enforcer of the scriptures. Keeps the peace. The religious advisor spreads the word and inspires the zest and zeal of the hash in all participants. Any hasher found transgressing the spirit of hashing is disciplined by the RA. Reports violations of protocol to Grand Master. Talks to cops when necessary.

Hash Cash:

Slow Hand

Keep of the large hash treasury. Reports to Grand Master.

Hash Webmeister:


Does internet stuff to make website work.

Hash Shitnazi:

Position Open!

Keep track of the hash awards. This is arguably the most complicated position within the hash hierarchy. The responsibility surrounds custody of a large card-board box filled with the flotsam and jetsam of hash awards. Precisely why this crap is retained is a mystery shrouded in the mythology of hashdom. Probably a set of duties beyond the cognitive ability of your average hasher.

Hash Haberdashers:

Ball Swap(colon) I Have A Penis Where My Balls Should Be

Procures and sells MH3 apparel (shirts, happicoats, patches, ankle bracelets,etc). General money laundering.

Hash Assbamador:

Position Open!

Maintain relations with other hashes. Invites other kennels to big hash events. Organizes road trips. Keeps track of when an where Nash Hash, Inter Hashers.

Hash Social Media Assbamador

Maintains extremely online relations with other hashes. Posts memes. Keeps track of communication across innumerable media. Master of emoji.

Keeper of the Hash Horn:

Baby Balls

Holder of MH3 hash horn. Unofficial Sargent-at-Arms. Musical ability: Optional.



Unlucky Butt Charms

The Songmeisters speak with other hashers and hashes to acquire songs to add to the hash hymnal. Their mission is to explore new tunes and new celebrations. Keeper of MH3 Hash Hymnal.

Race Directors:

Pussy Will Ho

Michelle Vick

The race bosses. In charge of getting hashers organized enough to put on the Finnish Five and the 50 Furlong.

Hare Raiser:

Ball Swap(colon) I Have A Penis Where My Balls Should Be

Responsible for keeping MH3 a continually running kennel by recruiting hares and harriettes to set trail each week.

Full Mooner:

My Lil’ Porny (acting appointment)

Responsible for keeping track of lunar cycles and encouraging your inner harewolf to set trail. Or at least run trail!

Trail Meister:

Mr. Rhythm

Knows the ins and outs of the nooks and crannies of Madison. Knows how to get hashers lost without getting TOO lost. Can advise on appropriate beer stops.

Masters of Hash Protocol (Old Farts):



Dribbles In



Colonel Mustard

Crap On-Crap Off

An amorphous group usually comprised of all the former hash officers who still remain involved. Nothing is allowed without the approval of this group. Gives orders to GM.


Shadow Mismanagment

Opposition party; permanently out of power. Even less responsible than the acting Misadministration.

Shadow GM:

Paging Dr. Rotten BoneHer

Has no part in Mismanagement and likes it fine just that way. Responsible for questioning mismanagement decisions and fomenting rebellion. Keeps things interesting.

All other Shadow Positions:

Currently Open!